Finding a new normal

Things aren’t back to normal, and I’m not sure they ever will be, but we are working toward a new normal.  My bestie is still in a bad way, but he has people with him who can spare the time and I need to get back to my studies.  I saw him twice over the weekend and he is able to laugh again and push through most of the bad stuff.  He says there are still times when he seriously considers suicide as a viable option for him, but those occasions are getting fewer.

I went back to school today and made it to and through all of my lectures.  The stuff that I missed out on is covered pretty well in the study guides and slides posted on line so I’m not too worried about that.  Tomorrow is the second Anatomy midterm (of three) and I have been studying for it, though not as much as the last one since my focus is a bit off.   I have also had a headache all day today which is throwing off my focus and ability to remember things.  Left temporal region, throbbing and sharp combined, not light or sound sensitive, not directly behind the eye, just mostly driving me crazy and making it nearly impossible to read things.

Quote of the day for classes last week: “surgery without anesthetic can be hilarious”

Quote of the day for classes today: “a Mexican Wave” (referring to…the wave…you know, when people stand up then sit back down at say a sporting event? yeah…apparently its Mexican out here)

I don’t even know where to start with that one, so I will leave it at that.

The fan has found the excrement

My bestie’s girlfriend committed suicide over the weekend.  I’m not going to pretend that I liked her or that I thought she was a good person, because I sat powerless while she hurt him over and over.  He is now considering suicide himself.  I needed time to get over my own issues before I could help him with his.  I needed to set a boundary, and now he has decided that it would be best if he ended his own life so that he stops hurting people.  As much as I hated her for hurting him, I never wanted this to happen.  I’m struggling.  Seeing a councilor.  But school is not very forefront in my thoughts.  I don’t know when I will post about school again.

Tuesday’s post

I apologize for missing last night’s post, I ended up going to a movie at the last minute and by the time I got home it was past my bedtime.  The movie was the latest Resident Evil, if you were curious.  I rather enjoyed it, laughed at what some might consider inappropriate moments, and let myself get sucked in enough to be startled when the baddies jumped out.  My favourite parts were: 1) strong female protagonist, 2) strong female antagonist, 3) Michelle Rodriguez (she was my favourite character in the first movie and while I missed a few in the middle, I like what they did with her in this one).

Yesterday for class I actually missed my first lecture (Animal Handling), but if it was anything like today’s lecture all I need to do is read the study guide, more on that in another post.  I missed this lecture because my usual ride to school, my flatmate, didn’t have an 8am lecture so didn’t leave until closer to 9am.  I made it to second lecture (Physiology) and took good notes on the cardiac system as a pump.  Anatomy was also on the cardiac and pulmonary systems and I was able to get good notes on that as well.

After the two hour lunch break was Anatomy Lab where we got to slice into the heart of our dogs.  We also watched the demonstrator cut open a horse heart and then compared that with our dog’s heart.  After going through the preserved material, we were given unpreserved hearts (the animal origin of which I cannot recall).  The differences between the three hearts were very interesting and we had a good time going through them.  We finished lab by about 4:30pm and I took the bus home.

Not wanting to cook because I’m usually exhausted on lab nights, I ordered pizza and was taken to pick it up by my friend from Hawaii.  When I told the girl behind the counter my name, she looked and could not find anything.  She then looked in the computer when I assured her that I had ordered one on line and that it indicated that the pizza was ready to be picked up.  She then told me that they didn’t have any orders for any Justin.  Wow.  Just.  I don’t even.  I corrected her on my name (and wondered how she hadn’t thought “oh this is a female maybe I misheard the male name and this one that looks vaguely similar could be it), got my pizza, and went home to consume it in peace.  After my ever so healthy dinner, I got popcorn at the theater.  So healthy.

Today’s post will come along after I am done with school.

No post today

I didn’t go to school today…dealing with some really heavy emotional stuff…regular blog will resume tomorrow

Finally Friday

Somehow the week seemed to go by quickly right up until after the tests, then it slowed right down.  I am so ready for a weekend and sleeping in.  Hopefully this weekend of rest will help me recover quickly so that I can have some time where I’m not sick.

Lectures today went well, finished sheep behaviour with a video and then went on to cattle where we learned about beef bulls (dairy bulls are a whole different ball game…bull game?).  After Animal Handling we finished up lectures on gluconeogenesis in Biochemistry and started in on glycogen.  There is only one lecture left form this lecturer and I am very glad of that.  I don’t think I could take much more of her bizarre behaviour and random temper.

After lectures I hung out in the vet tower until it was time to pay for my clothes (which should be in within a month and then embroidered a couple weeks after that, so before I leave for home) and head to Grand Rounds.  The topics today were a puppy with Tetanus, a beef bull in Kentucky with genital warts, and a small breed fluffy dog with a foreign object up its nose.

The tetanus puppy showed up with an awkward, stiff gait and had all of the classic signs of tetanus. They gave him muscle relaxants and a vaccine to boost the immune response and monitored the puppy to make sure he didn’t develop any complications.  One thing that was pointed out by a lecturer/grader was that with tetanus cases you have to drastically increase the energy in because with constant contractions of the muscles the animals are burning an incredible amount of energy.  This puppy didn’t have full lock jaw so they fed him orally, but its something to remember and keep an eye out for.  The presenter who gave this topic was very animated and interesting to watch.  She did a great job presenting and made the topic interesting even though it was a pretty boring and straight forward case.

The bull with genital warts was interesting because I didn’t know that there was a bovine pappiloma virus.  Apparently there are vaccines for some strains, including the strain that affects the genitals, but its not used very often.  There are also (apparently) about 12 different strains of the virus, all affecting different areas of the animal (some prefer mouth, some shoulder, back, rump, legs, etc).  The virus usually clears up on its own and doesn’t cause any problems, but the animal was not breeding sound because of it.  It can be transmitted sexually so breeding the bull would have been very unwise.  The farmer chose to treat by surgically removing the wart because he was worried about the bull’s ability to extend and retract his penis.  The surgery went well with no complications and no need for sutures.  All in all a straightforward and not terribly interesting case that was presented well and made interesting.

The last case, which should have been interesting because there was mystery and suspense, was so boring that I almost didn’t remember what it was about.  The dog was referred by its usual vet because it had nasal discharge.  That vet had treated a presumed bacterial infection, and while the nasal discharge improved (was less mucusy), it didn’t clear up.  That vet did not have the tools necessary to proceed, so referred them to Massey.  The Massey vets went immediately for CT scan and a nasal scope.  The CT was first to find where the issue was, followed by the scope to check it out.  The CT showed a soft mass in the left nasal passage that had caused quite a bit of damage, including breaking through the septum.  They thought this could be a tumor, a fungal infection, or a foreign body.  Foreign body was actually lower on the list because the patient did not present with the usual “got a stick jammed up its nose” symptoms (the problem had been occurring for months).  When they went in with the scope they found a very large (longer than 3cm) grass seed lodged in there.  They extracted the object and puppy went home happy as a clam that day.  The reason this case was so boring was because the presenter was terrible.  He clearly did not want to be there, was terrified, and could not make an interesting case interesting to save his life.  I feel bad for him and feel like maybe vet school should include some public speaking seminars or something.

After Grand Rounds I caught the bus home and watched old episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with my best girl back home.  Now I am very tired and definitely ready for bed.  Hopefully the neighbors will be cooperative and not exceedingly noisy.

Post Test Tired

Yes, again I woke up this morning ready to go back to sleep for another week.  But I dragged myself out of bed and met the day head on.  I took my first antibiotic, got ready for school, and even managed to gag down breakfast through the nausea.  Thankfully my mum loves me and sent me a care package with antiemetics so that when I feel like throwing up, I can stop feeling like throwing up.  I also discovered today that while the package suggests taking it on an empty stomach, its much less nauseating when taken with food.  Hopefully that doesn’t hurt its effectiveness because I prefer not feeling sick.

First lecture was Biochemistry and she had the audacity to ask us how we thought the test went.  The general consensus was grumpy groaning and moaning.  She was not impressed, but also didn’t want to waste any time talking about it, so jumped straight into lecture.  Which was fine by me since I don’t think she would have found the video I posted very amusing.

After lecture was a histology lab, the last histology lab for this year.  We looked at cardiac and respiratory tissues.  My head was already hurting and I was already feeling sick before we even went into the lab.  I sat through the lecture at the begining, took good notes, and then went through the slides as quickly as possible so that my headache wouldn’t be prolonged indefinitely.  I was done with lab in about an hour.

After lab I met up with my bestie and we talked a bit.  Then I picked up my text books that I had ordered at the beginning of the year, and ordered clothes from the clothing sale.  Those should be in before the end of the semester, some of them embroidered with the vet logo.  After that it was lunch time and then home time.  My backpack was incredibly heavy with all of the books so I rode the bus the long way around to the close bus stop (usually I get off at Cook street and walk the block to my street since we are almost on the corner of Cook and it cuts about 10 minutes off the trip).  My shoulders still hurt a bit from the weight.

Now I am extremely tired and very ready for bed.  Tomorrow is two lectures followed by paying for the clothes that I ordered today (I was $20 short and its cash only and they had to leave for a lab) and then Grand Rounds.  I promise to post about the cases that I remember.

Test Day: Biochem

The biochem test was tonight, from 7:00pm-8:30pm.  That’s usually when I’m winding down my evening and getting ready for bed.  To counter this habit I brought Stash Chai Spice black tea to school as a dinner time pick me up.  I don’t usually drink black tea, and definitely don’t drink caffeine that late in the day.  It left me bouncy and excited going into the exam.

Leaving the exam I was much more subdued.  The first question was calculating the charge of a polypeptide at a given pH, which is fine and I can do it no problem, but for some reason my brain was struggling with the pKa > pH > pKa thing and which would be protonated and which wouldn’t.  So I took extra time on that question that I probably shouldn’t have had to.  Then I talked myself into a circle in part C of that question trying to decide which of the two polypeptides would be more likely to form a globular protein (since they were both only 6 amino acids long the answer would logically be neither but I didn’t think they would want that.  The second question I aced because I learned collagen inside and out last year and still remember all of my stuff, even stuff about scurvy.  The third question was a graph, and I’m terrible at graphs so I’m not sure how well I did but I should at least get partial credit.

Question 4 started in on the metabolism section, which was a different lecturer, my new nemesis.  I got questions 4, 5, and 6 alright for a total of 20 points I should get at least 15.  Questions 6 and 7 were both on poisons, which took up a total of two slides and maybe two minutes of lecture time.  Both questions were 10 points each. Question 7 had me completely stumped and I’ll be glad to get 2/10 because I just didn’t study that part of the study guide since it was less “general biochem that is essential for the understanding of the subject” and more “something interesting that will maybe entice you to keep studying”.  Needless to say I am annoyed.  Question 8 was easy enough because I know all about red blood cells and why they don’t have oxidative phosphorylation (they lack mitochondria, because if they had mitochondria they would use up all of the oxygen before the rest of our cells had a chance at it, not very efficient).  Question 9 was also easy because I rock at ATP-synthase, though I may have mixed up a few details because I was pressed for time and wanted to at least write something for Question 7.  Needless to say I needed a stiff drink when I got home.  I settled for a London Porter.  It did the trick, I am feeling much less irritated and much more relaxed.

Lectures today were good.  Animal Handling talked about Deer again and was actually entertaining.  Physiology and Anatomy were both dealing with the cardiovascular system and I was able to take good notes for both classes taught by the same lecturer.

During the break between Physiology and Anatomy I was able to go to the Massey Doctors and actually see a doctor and actually get a prescription for antibiotics, which I picked up when I went into town after the RADIC meeting.  The only problem with the antibiotics is that they recommend taking them an hour before meals.  This wouldn’t seem to be an issue, except that I don’t really plan when I eat.  I eat when I get hungry.  That’s pretty random.  I eat breakfast right when I wake up because otherwise I forget.  So for the next few days I will have to take my pill when I wake up and then eat toast or something on the way to school, then remember to take my second pill an hour before the lunch break (good luck with that), and the third an hour before I eat dinner (as if I ever know when that is going to be), and the last at some point.  I’m not sure if they think I eat 4 times a day, or if I should be.  I ‘m lucky if I remember to eat twice a day.

I am so ready for this week to be over.  I should have passed my test, I will be shocked if I didn’t.  Even if I didn’t, I can still pass the final and therefore the whole class.  Tomorrow is a Biochem lecture followed by a Histology lab for Physiology on cardiac muscle.  I am not impressed.  I just want to sleep through all of it, but knowing me I’ll be up before my alarm tomorrow anyway.  Joy of Joys.

Test day: Animal Handling

This morning was the mid-semester exam for Animal Behaviour, Handling, and Welfare.  The test itself wasn’t too difficult, but upper classmen have warned us that Kevin Stafford is a tough grader.  Luckily he is also equally tough on everyone, so even though we will get answers wrong, we will likely all get just as many wrong answers as everyone else, so the curve will be low but most of us will get good grades.  Not sure if that is a good thing, but as long as I pass, I should be okay.

After the test we had Physiology lecture taught by the Anatomy paper coordinator (the lecturer for the first 15 or so lectures in Anatomy).  This apparently confused a number of my classmates into thinking that we had Anatomy instead of Physiology.  I fear for the future of the veterinary profession.

After Physiology was a one hour break during which I took my sick throat over to the Massey Doctors to get looked at.  I was booked in to see the triage nurse and was seen within fifteen minutes of my arrival.  Unfortunately because my strep wasn’t BAD enough (only slight yellowing of my tonsils not “big white fluffy clouds”) they couldn’t do anything for me today.  She did get me an appointment with one of the doctors tomorrow during the same time slot though.  Hopefully by then my throat will be bad enough to get some attention.  These doctors are absolutely useless.  Though that’s probably why they work at the school, only a captive audience and revolving door of new faces can keep them in business.

Anatomy was the same lecturer again, which made me happy though annoyed some of my classmates who can’t get past her accent.  We learned about the function and embriology of the upper respiratory system.  Again she finished early but had a lot of good information.

After lectures were finished we all piled into the vet tower to get our free polo shirts with the Massey Vet logo embroidered on them.  These are supposed to make us look more professional at practicals and work experience.  Mostly its just another shirt in my drawer so that I don’t have to do laundry as often.  It is purple and black though so that is cool.  Maybe I’ll post a pic when I get a chance.

Lab today was focusing on the thoracic cavity so we got to crush some ribs.  The snapping sound was actually really satisfying and the process was a lot more fun than I expected.  One of my table mates is now nicknamed Bone Crusher because she did most of the crushing.  We made it through lab in record time (finished before 4) and found all of the things we needed to find.  The fourth year demonstrators were actually kinda impressed.  Though we did get a bit of a slow start trying to figure out where to cut (and ran into the deep pectoral muscle rib-blocking us like a punk) we did an awesome job and only cut the lungs a little bit.

Tomorrow is the Biochem midterm, I am not worried.  We are done with lectures at noon, then RADIC till one, then nothing till the test at seven.  There will be plenty of time to review and helping others study will help me study.

I got my carepackage from the states today as well.  It had Goldfishes, chocolate, Pirate Booty (so excited) and a shirt that smells like home.  I am a happy camper.

First Monday Back (after the study break)

After three weeks off due to a combination of illness and scheduled study break it was actually really nice to be back at school.  I missed the routine and the schedule and the people.  I even enjoyed sitting in lecture for hour stretches.  Even the long hikes between classes didn’t seem so bad.  I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I really am a school nerd.

We started the deer section in Animal Handling today, new lecturer.  Its not nearly as much fun as listening to Kevin Stafford’s Irish accent, but the deer guy is pretty interesting and I like learning about deer.  Its mostly the same lecture he gave when I took Animal Health, Behaviour, and Welfare last year, but he does tailor it a bit for vet students.  The midterm for this class is tomorrow, I’m not terribly worried about it.

In Physiology we had our last endocrinology lecture (which I already went over thanks to not knowing where to stop during my makeup study over the break).  The computer wasn’t working so we worked entirely off of the overhead projector, which was not ideal.  His handwriting is very messy and he talks way too fast.  Overall it was not the best lecture but I don’t feel like I missed out on any important information so its okay.

In Biochemistry we finished up the lecture on regulation of glycolysis.  This stuff is still pretty much review for me so it was easy and a nice mental break.  The midterm for this class is on Wednesday.  I looked over the previous year’s midterms and feel confident in my ability to pass easily.

In Anatomy we started on the thoracic cavity and learned all about ribs and muscles and sternum.  This was also a new lecturer, a woman with a thick Indian accent.  She was perky and fun and not terribly difficult to understand (though she did try her hardest to make herself as understandable as possible).  I really enjoyed her lecture and hope we get at least one more with her.  She even ended early even though she engaged the class with questions and such.

After lectures was a SVECCS meeting.  The presenter talked about all of the random side effects and negative reactions that horses can have to commonly used drugs (including penicillin and alpha blockers).  It was a very interesting talk, this is one of my favourite clubs to be a part of.

After SCECCS there was an hour break before the tutorial for Biochem.  I sat in the vet tower and had my lunch (and more tea for my throat) until a scheduled fire drill.  When I was ousted from my comfy spot in the vet tower, I wandered over to the AgHort building where the tutorial was being held.  After sitting there for about fifteen minutes, you guessed it, another fire drill.  This time I was able to wait it out with my classmates at the fire assembly point before heading back inside for the tut (pronounced toot, its kiwi slang I guess).  Most of the questions people asked were really good, and most of the answers were along the lines of “don’t worry too much about the nitty gritty details.” Which prompted me to post to FaceBook “Damnit Jim, I’m a Doctor not a Biochemist!”

I took the bus home and stopped in at the pharmacy that I pass on the way home from the far bus stop to get throat lozenges.  They are called ManukaGuard Honey Lozenges with 100% pure active Manuka Honey (whatever that means).  I like them because its like eating honey.  Well apparently it IS eating honey (pretty precisely).  Supposedly it “soothes throats and supports healing” but whatever they taste good and while I’m sucking on them I can ignore the pain in my throat.  I did a self examination (using a flashlight and a mirror) and have decided that its most likely strep throat, so I am taking myself to the doctor sometime this week for antibiotics.  Ah the joys of a less than optimum immune system.  Though at least my joints have been better.

I’m off to bed so that I can shuffle around all of the information that I have on Animal Handling for the test tomorrow.

 

Last Friday of the break

Today wasn’t nearly as productive as I had intended.  I think I’m coming down with another cold.  I have the slightly runny nose, dry scratchy throat, and a tickle in my lungs threatening to make me cough.  Good thing I have sniffle tea, honey, and ginger.  I think I will buy lemons the next time I go shopping so that I can make my lemon tea that seems to help me recover faster (I don’t care if it’s a placebo effect, I’ll take what I can get).

I did study some of my Animal Handling notes, even though I couldn’t focus very well.  I got through about half the lectures that are going to be covered, and it was all pretty easy stuff.  I have found that joking with my friends about some of the stuff is a good way for me to remember the things I’m going over.  Like how crazy cats are, and how puppies are born in a larval form and have to pupate before they become cute (our professor actually refers to them as slugs).  That and amusing them with bits of random information they didn’t have before, like that there were never any wolves in Ireland so the Irish Wolf Hound is purely a human creation for the sake of creation (scaled up Deer Hounds with their best attribute being their tolerance for bag pipes).

Shadow was a bit of a pest today.  He would NOT leave me alone.  When I went to make myself a sandwich for lunch (grilled cheese with tomato and avocado, amazingly good), he followed me into the kitchen and then proceeded to headbutt me and clamour for attention.  I figured that my Feline Overlord wanted tribute from the wet cat food sachet, but no he was not pleased by my offering.  I ate my lunch and still he was pestering me for Something.  Every time I tried to pet him he would nuzzle my hand and then walk away.  Finally I realised that he was looking for playtime.  He was frustrated that the weather was not permitting him his usual outside time and needed a good distraction.  A rousing game of stringaling was just what he needed.  After we played he went right to the food dish and stuffed his little black face.

Tomorrow I will again attempt studying, even though it is Saturday.  Because I have a midterm coming up and those don’t allow for weekends.  It will require copious amounts of tea, but I will succeed.

 

a friend of mine turned me onto an new band called Flyleaf (they’ve been around since 2004 but I only just how found them so they are new to me, like my used car).  So far I have liked every song of theirs that I have been able to find on the YouTubes.  Please, enjoy their music.  As my friend said, they are very grassy rootsy with a sincerity that you just don’t hear in music these days.