Week number three has started, and I still don’t really feel any different. I mean, I’m a vet student now. Illustrious, much sought after, with all the rights and responsibilities that go with. And yet, here I am, just me, still confused and a procrastinator and not nearly as confident as I thought I would be. Impostor Syndrome is definitely rearing its ugly head more often than not. I am having fun in all of my classes, but somehow it still feels like I have no idea what’s going on. Part of that is probably because most of the things we have covered have been review and so I haven’t actually studied much, but that is only part of it.
At VLE the vets who were the staff told us that they STILL struggle with impostor syndrome, so I shouldn’t be too surprised that I have these feelings, but some days I do wonder if I’m cut out for it. Knowing that my third year friends feel the same way helps. Knowing that there are others with pain issues and physical limitations helps. Knowing that one of my flatmates has the same fainting problem that I have (standing for too long, yay poor circulation) helps a little, but not much. I’m reasonably sure that I’m the only one with as many problems as I have. Does that mean that I’m not cut out to be a vet? Only time will tell I guess.
We have a 5th year vet student from Germany staying with us for a month. He is here doing his internship (externship?) before going back and finishing his program. He has been here since Friday night, and I still don’t remember his name. I wonder if he ever feels like an impostor. He says he isn’t going straight into practice when he graduates, that he is going to apply for a post-grad position or something, so maybe he is confident and secure and Germans are just better at stuff than we are. Or not.
My weekend was ok, I didn’t study much and didn’t really go do anything. I went to the farmer’s market on Sunday, but only got a couple apples to hopefully put in my oatmeal. I was going to get a drying rack for inside the house, but I wasn’t feeling well so I didn’t make it to the store.
Classes today were good, uneventful. There was a new lecturer in anatomy to teach us about radiography. There was also a new lecturer in biochemistry, to teach us about metabolism. Everything else was pretty basic. I got the info that I need to renew my visa, and I signed my loan check so that my tuition can be paid.
Now it’s time for me to go to bed because tomorrow is my longest day and I don’t want to add poor night’s sleep to the list of reasons why I feel terrible after lab.